The Reall Deal
By Scott Reall

The Longing Heart

There is a paradox that comes with growing older, and I have recently discovered what that is. When I was younger, I constantly longed to be older and now that I am older, I long to be younger and experience events from my childhood again.

This feeling seems to be a constant companion to me as a part of this phase that I have entered into. When you reach the age of fifty, you realize there is less time left in your life than you would like. If that feeling isn’t bad enough—watching your parents age is even worse. My parents are in their early eighties and they are failing in health. My mother is suffering with Alzheimer’s and my dad is battling cancer. Seeing them suffer is just painful.

Then I take a look at my children. My oldest son is now 31 and opening his own restaurant. My youngest is 23 and I think, “Where did this time go?” We do not notice how much time goes by when we are just dealing with a day to day life. The other day I had dinner with a friend I had not seen in 14 years. When I arrived, standing in front of me was this gray-haired elderly man. It was hard to get used to him looking so different.

With all of these external changes going on, reflecting on life becomes second nature. I think that I keep reflecting because I long for my youth. There are so many days I wish I could go back and do again or experience again. But what if I had the chance to do that? Would I stop longing to go back? Would this feeling go away?

I don’t want to sound like there are not benefits to getting older. There are! One benefit I have found in life is that no matter how old we are we still have a purpose. There is an answer for us and for our longing. The answer I have found is Jesus Christ.

So I am now aware that this longing in my heart that has been there my whole life isn’t going to be found in something in my childhood. It’s not going to be found in some accomplishment or great recognition by my fellow man. It isn’t going to be found in some remaining challenge that I will tackle and defeat. It is only found when my heart is continually being broken and I embrace the precious love and grace of Jesus Christ. And in those moments my heart is filled with joy.

As Christians, it is the inevitability that someday we will be in heaven in a place where all of our deepest longings will be at rest. Scripture tells us that we were not made for this world but for an eternity with our Savior. My longing has turned from wishing that I had chances to do this life again to longing to be with my Savior and fulfill my God-given purpose while I am still on earth. What a relief!

May God Bless you on your Journey!

Scott